Taipei, Taiwan

Country #49! While Taiwan is not a member of the UN, and is not recognized by most nations (including the USA), it is undebateably a sovereign nation. It resides in the long shadow cast by China, who claims it as a "renegade province" of mainland China. Taiwan has been governing itself since 1949.

My travels to Asia this time around were on China Air, so it was easy to get a free stopover in Taipei. Taipei is another huge city of 2.6 million. It's airport is a long way from the city, so Aaron and I got a scenic bus ride through the suburbs to get to our hotel. We then added a fruitless march carrying our bags through the city to where I thought our hotel was. People are really nice in Taipei. Just open your map up and look confused and someone will step up and help you find your destination. We showed up at the wrong hotel, and after jovially trying to convince us to just stay at their hotel, they wrote directions to our actual hotel in Chinese, hailed a cab for us, and told the cabbie where to take us. Thanks Neil and Chantelle!
Yes, the hotel clerks were named Neil and Chantelle. Apparently when you are of Chinese descent and you get a job in the hotel industry, you have to pick a westernized name. I didn't have the heart to tell Chantelle, that she is almost certainly the first Chinese named Chantelle ever.

So what is there to do and see in Taipei? Not much. We walked through Snake Alley, a "tourist market" where they sell the same cheap crap that they sell in every night market in Asia, with the addition of snakes. Big snakes. Aaron saw a 10foot python. I moved on. You can drink snake blood here, as seen on the cable travel/drinking show "Three Sheets". We did not partake. That's all we could find to do in Taipei. No bar scene. Just a big city focused on business. Oh, and the world's tallest building.

Taipei 101 is currently, officially, the World's Tallest Building. I think his is really awesome. I like to check off Really Big Things on my list during my travels. And this the THE BIGGEST OF THEM ALL. Sort of. It's actually much smaller than the Burj Dubai, a massive tower in the United Arab Emirates. However, the Burj is not open for business yet, so according to the people who decide these things Taipei 101 is still #1.
This picture does not even begin to illustrate how big this building is. It isn't just taller than the other high-rises in Taipei, it's like three time higher than the next tallest building. It sticks out like a bizarre aberration of architecture. Taipei 101 is 1,670 feet, and has been the tallest in the world since 2004.

Taipei 101 also has the World's Fastest Elevator. It hits a top speed of 37.7MPH on the way up. My ears popped twice during the ride, but I had no sensation of speed.

The view was OK. It's smoggy in Taipei, like everywhere else in Asia, so the visibility was less than ideal.

This trip up Taipei 101 is the crowning jewel of my visits to Really Big Things. I've also been to the Petronas Towers (tallest in the world from 1998-2004), the Eiffel Tower (tallest structure in the world from 1889-1930), Washington Monument (tallest structure from 1884-1889), Cologne Cathedral (tallest from 1880-1884), and St Olaf's church in Estonia (world's tallest structure from 1549-1625).

Our mission in Taipei complete, we headed back to the airport.

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Streets of Phnom Penh. Craziest traffic Ive ever seen.

From Siem Reap, Aaron, Pat and I took a bus to the capitol Phnom Penh. The bus was comfortable, had A/C, and played videos of Cambodian standup comedy. We had a close call with a cow that wandered into the road. The 6 hour ride dragged on, until finally we made it to the bus station.
Phnom Penh is much cleaner and more orderly than I would have predicted. It has some nice parks. It's very modern, and the streets are in pretty good shape. The traffic is unreal though. There appear to be no road rules. Mopeds come from every direction, with no stoplights or even stop signs. Every intersection is a four way merge with horns blaring.

The view from Wat Phnom

The Silver Pagoda houses a solid gold Buddha. The entire Royal Palace area is just beautiful, really a smaller version of the Royal Palace area of Bangkok, which it was modeled after.

Now for the harsh reality of Cambodian history. This country went through living hell from April 1975 to January 1979. The Khmer Rouge killed approximately 1.5 Million people. That amounts to one out of every seven Cambodians alive in 1975. No one should come to Cambodia without first watching the movie "The Killing Fields", and reading at least one book about the genocide. I recommend "First They Killed My Father". It seems inconceivable that such a thing could have happened here. Cambodians are so friendly and funny. But it did happen, just 30 years ago. Anyone over the age of thirty you meet would have some terrifying stories to tell. Sadly, after a few days in Cambodia you realize that there just aren't that many people over thirty walking around. It is a youthful country, and for all the wrong reasons.
During that late 70's Phnom Penh was a ghost town. On April 17, 1975, the Khmer Rouge forced the entire population to flee to the countryside with only what they could carry. Imagine the population of Boston being sent into the woods of Massachusetts and New Hampshire with nothing but a bag of potatoes, having to fend for themselves for food and water. How long would those people last? Not very long.

Faces of the inmates from Tuol Sleng Prison. 17,000 people were incarcerated and tortured here. All but 7 ended up dying in the prison or being murdered at the nearby killing fields.

We visited Tuol Sleng Prison, also known as S-21. The Khmer Rouge took this school and made it into a torture death camp. They imprisoned anyone who was educated, worked for the previous government, anyone that could possibly be considered a threat to their bizarre reorganization of society. They kept records of every inmate. The photos of the inmates are displayed throughout the building. It's quite moving to look at row upon row of pictures of people that you know were tortured and killed.


One of the beds on which people were tortured. The metal box is an ammo canister that served as their toilet.


Next we drove to the killing fields on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. 20,000 people were murdered here by the Khmer Rouge between 1976-79.

One of many mass graves.

The stupa of skulls. Layer upon layer of unidentified skulls found in the killing fields.

Even seeing all the skulls, I couldn't wrap my mind around the magnitude of murder and inhumanity that existed here.

I wasn't sad to leave Phnom Penh at the end of our visit to Cambodia. The city 's traffic, smog and frightening history wore me down. I will miss Cambodia though, and will certainly return to Siem Reap.

Siem Reap, Cambodia

Cambodia is country #48. I'm always a little nervous at border crossings. Siem Reap has a beautiful new airport that belied the country's poverty. I had an encounter with the least friendly passport control officer I've met. I didn't have the right arrrival card so he just waved me away. I asked where to get the right card. He waved me away. I finally found the right card and made it through another window.


My trusty tuk-tuk driver Mao met me at the airport. When Aaron and Pat failed to show up on their flight, Mao wanted to wait to see if they'd come on the next flight. 3 hours later! I was melting in the 90 degree sun of the airport parking lot. Mao ended up driving us all over for three days.

Aaron and I at Angkor Wat. Gowanus Dredgers! The temples of Angkor are spread out over several miles. The place used to be a city of one million around 1200 AD, at a time when the population of London was 50,000! As such, you need some sort of transportation to get to all the temples. Bicycles might be fun in December, but in the 90+ degree heat of April, we chose the tuk-tuk. For $12 we had a driver and tour guide all in one from sunrise to sunset. All we had to do was hop in and hop out. And sweat a lot.

Angor Wat is huuuuuge. Hard to believe this thing was built by 1150, and it's still in pretty good shape. I think I need to build my next house out of stone. And with a moat.

Apsara reliefs cover the walls of Angkor Wat

Endless passageways of the temple

Cambodia is so awesomely cheap it is unbelievable. Here is a list of things I got in Siem Reap for one dollar: An Angkor Wat t-shirt, 80 minutes of Internet, two cold Angkor drafts in a nice restaurant, a hand carved wooden flute, a wooden jaw harp, a 20 minute tuk tuk ride, two litres of cold bottled water, entry to the Land Mine museum. The US Dollar is the de facto currency. You pay in US Dollars, and small change is given back in Cambodian Riel.

At the Bayon temple you have the option to take a short elephant ride around the perimeter of the temple for $15. Riding an elephant is on my life list, so I had to do it. It wasn't actually all that exciting, kind of a weird undulating ride as the elephants shoulder blades roll underneath you. I hope these elephants are well cared for, but I fear they may not be.

Aaron and I on an elephant.

The wonderfully serene Bayon temple was built around 1200. I could spend a day here just looking at all the faces. There are 216 of them in total.

The sleepy faces are watching you from every angle.

A smiling face of Bayon. Bayon is my favorite temple of any I've ever seen so far.

Ta Proehm, as seen in Tomb Raider.

Siem Reap is perfectly set up for backpackers. If there is anything that a traveller needs, someone in Siem Reap has opened a store selling it. I found a bookstore with pirated copies of every Lonely Planet guide for $5 each. Another store will load ripped songs to your Ipod for just 20cents each. Hostels, laundry, massage, travel agents specializing in bus tickets to Vietnam Laos and Thailand, bars, restaurants, all of this in one block. You can live like a king here on $20 a day.

Water Buffalo get in free at the temples of Angkor.

Pre Rup, built in 962, is a great quiet place to wander around.

Banteay Srei was built wayyyy back in 967. It is known for having the most intricate carvings of any temple in Angkor.

"Sah! Cold drink for you? Sah! You buy cold drink from me? Beer? Water? Coke? Maybe after tempah, you can buy from me? You remembah me, OK? I remembah you. You can buy from me."

Any visitor to Angkor will remember these entreaties long after they have forgotten the names of the temples they saw. You may thing you've gotten the tough sales pitch in other developing countries, but no one can outsell the ladies of Angkor. Before your tuk-tuk even rolls to a halt, you will be surrounded by four or five women and girls with armloads of t-shirts, sarongs, flutes, books, and hats.

"Sah! You need t-shirt? You need book on Angkor? Sah! Come to my shop, it right here!"

These are not the roadside sales girls of Indonesia or Laos with maybe five English phrases memorized, these girls, some only ten years old, have learned fluent English solely by haggling with tourists at Angkor. They have a sharp sense of humor too. Whatever reason you give them as to why you cannot buy yet another Angkor Wat t-shirt for two dollars, they have a better reason why you should buy it. Here is one exchange I had:

"Sah! You buy bracelet for your wife?"

"I don't have a wife."

"Sah! Maybe for you Mum?"

"I don't have a mom."

"But Sah, maybe you buy one for you sistah?"

"I don't have a sister"

"Sah, maybe you buy one for you girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"But Sah, do you know why you no have girlfriend?"

"No, why?"

"Because...YOU NO HAVE BRACELET!" (giggles from all her sales cohorts)

These girls are completely charming and harmless and their imaginative sales pitch did not annoy me, it just made me wish I could give em all a hundred bucks so they could go to school instead of selling cold drinks for a daily profit of two dollars.

The Angkor temples are astounding, but really the interaction with these kids was almost as fun as seeing the temples. At one stop the "cold drink" calls were coming in loud from fifty yards away, and I desperately needed one.

"Sah! Cold drink? Watah?"

Just to be a wise ass, I raised my hands in the air and shouted "I need a water! Where do I go?"

The place erupted. "Sah! Sah! Here! Right here!" Three kids sprinted to their mom's cooler, grabbed a water and raced each other laughing and shoving to get to me first. I guess playtime and work melt together into one when your a working kid in Cambodia.

The hot, flat Cambodian countryside, full of rice fields, lies between each temple. Water buffaloes and skinny cows abound. Also monkeys, chickens, and mangy dogs. All of the animals like to step into the road right in front of your vehicle.

What I love about travelling in Asia is that it is always an unexpected and unique adventure. Strange things happen here, things that just wouldn't happen anywhere else. An example; we hired out driver to take us out to all the best bars in town. At first he just kept taking us to one decibel blasting disco after another. We stepped into the first place, and it was pitch black. Not dark mind you, but black, almost no lights at all! If we got separated I'd never find Aaron and Pat. A sappy Thai pop ballad was playing. The dance floor was full of Cambodian kids slow dancing, junior high school dance style. In the dark. Aaron came back laughing from the men's room. I had to go too, and luckily he had briefed me for what was about to happen. I stepped in to see several young men in the club's uniform polo shirts standing at the back of the room. I hesitantly stepped to the urinal. As I'm going, one of the men steps up behind me, says "Good evening sir." and begins to give me a shoulder massage. WHILE I'M PEEING. Odd things happen in Asia. I started laughing uncontrollably, struggled to finish my business, tipped him a dollar for the most awkward massage ever, and got the hell out of there.

At the next club a sign was posted on the door stating in pictorial form; No knives, No guns, and No grenades. No grenades??? Is that enough of a problem that it has to be posted??? I checked with Aaron to make sure he left his grenades back at the hotel. Once we got inside there were lights at least, but the bass was Earth shaking. The bass was so powerful that as I looked across the club, each thump caused my vision to blur momentarily. There was yet another strange lavatorial experience in this place. While I was in the men's room, three young Cambodian kids came in laughing and stumbling, and all went into the same extra-roomy handicapped stall. They were closely followed by two massive goons dressed in black. Their private security force searched the men's room, stared me down as I was the only other occupant, then locked the entry door and stood guard on either side of it. While their young employer presumably sniffed coke in the stall, I quickly washed my hands and wondered if I'd be allowed to leave. I was.

Pat, Aaron and I offering to take out tuk-tuk drivers for a ride instead. Savoen and Mao are sitting in the shade for once.

Luang Prabang, Laos

Country #47, Laos!
Some fun facts about Laos; It is the most heavily bombed country (per capita) in the history of the world. Laos was bombed non-stop by the USA from 1964 to 1973 at a cost of nearly seven billion dollars. Over two million tons of high explosive rained down from bomber raids launched on average once every eight minutes. The tonnage exceeds all the raids launched by every side in Europe during the whole of World War II. The lethal barrage, which peaked in 1969, included an estimated 250 million submunitions, notably infamous anti-personnel "bombies". Slightly smaller than tennis balls, and sometimes painted bright yellow, bombies can attract curious children and may be mistaken for fruit. 30% of these landed intact, and children die every week from them some 36 years leater.
Bearing all this in mind, it would be understandable to receive some anti-American sentiment. When the French or Dutch complain about American foreign policy I resist the temptation to ask them if their grandpa ran or bicycled away when the SS rolled into his town. But to people from countries like Laos, Cambodia, I can't defend my countries actions.

The Nam Khan river

Lao people are reserved, laid-back, calm, polite, patient, graceful. They seem surprised that so many Westerners want to visit their country.

On a Friday night, you'll see Lao teenage boys on their mopeds, with their girlfriends on the back, sitting sidesaddle, texting away on their cell phones. Mopeds outnumber cars 10-1, and bicycles outnumber mopeds. The total volume of motorized traffic is minimal.

Laos is wonderfully cheap. I had fantastic Indian food at Nazim's each night for $4. A big beer Lao is only $1.50 An hour massage $6. A full day's tour $11.

Laos is one of the few remaining "Communist" countries. It's not really Communist, in that it has free trade and capitalism just like any other country, but it is still ruled by the same Lao People's Democratic Party" that has ruled it since the Vietnam war. There are no free elections, and no free press.

I exchanged dollars at the Lao Peoples Bank. Basically the equivalent of exchanging money directly with the government. In Myanmar the government offers an absurd exchange rate of 6 kyat to the dollar, less than 1% of the real exchange rate. What was the exchange rate offered by the Lao government? Exactly the daily rate published on the world currency exchange; 8,538 Kip for one dollar. I guess Laos wants dollars.

The first thing that greeted me upon checking into my room was a laminated copy of the Lao People's Democratic Republic Accommodation Regulations. Twelve rules were listed, and I'll share the most interesting/hilarious rules verbatim:

#1 Tourists have to your own accommodation at 2400 hrs (mid night)

#5 Do not any drugs, crambling, or bring both women and men which is not your own husband of wife into the room for making love.

#6 Do not allow domestic and international tourist bring prostitute and others into your accommodation to make sex movies in our room, it is restriction.

#11 If you do not follow this accommodation regulation, you will be fight based on Lao PDR law.

So, for those of you hoping to start up the Lao porn industry, or thinking of doing any "crambling", you best think again or you will be fight. (Fined?)

That Pathum

Wat Xieng Thong

Monks whitewashing the stairway up Phou Si

Laos makes everyone sleepy. The power was out to the whole town on Saturday from early in the morning till 3pm. Nothing to do but walk around town, have a Beer Lao, get a massage, and take a catnap.

Main street. No cars, few people. Sleepy Laos.

People really do wear these hats here.

In Laos I stopped haggling at the markets. In Thailand they quote you a price that is 50-100% higher than what they will accept and it's expected you will attempt to haggle it down. On a $10-$20 item, it's certainly worth the time to haggle, pretend to walk away, the whole bit. In Laos they quote you a price that is a hopeful 25%-50% above what they will accept. This opening price will likely be less than the price you'd negotiate after five minutes of haggling in Thailand. Things are so, so cheap here. Can you talk a Lao merchant down from $3.50 to $2.75 for the Beer Lao t-shirt you've been eyeing? Probably. Will you feel that same sense of victory by keeping an extra 75 cents out of the hands of a woman who makes three dollars a day? Probably not.

I bought a beautiful handmade lantern from this lady. I took some time in deciding which one I wanted, and she interpreted my hesitancy to lack of interest and dropped the price from $8 to $6 without a word from me. If I'd had more room in my backpack, I'd have bought ten of them.

The huge night market in Luang Prabang

Quiet back streets of lovely Luang Prabang

Like many places in Buddhist Asia, the monks walk the streets at dawn to collect alms from the laypeople. This tradition dates back a thousand years. There are so many monks in Luang Prabang, and the town is so picturesque, that this simple ceremony draws out every tourist in town. Some give alms like the locals. Most just snap pictures. Unfortunately, a few morons insist in getting right up in the monks faces for that perfect shot. There are signs around town asking for people to show some restraint and not interfere with this vital ritual. I took this shot from across the street. I witnessed a tour bus of Japanese with bright flash photography just a few feet from some monks. I was disgusted by the whole scene. Rich tourists with $800 cameras frantically snapping photos of penniless monks patiently receiving the only food they would get for the day is just wrong. I saw one sign on a shop window that put it best; "They are monks not monkeys. Do not treat them as if they are in a zoo. Please respect Lao traditions."

In the morning I went on a cool riverboat trip up the Mekong. For just $10 I got to ride in a thin long riverboat about 15 miles up the river to the Pak Ou caves, where a multitude of Buddha statues have been gathered for a long time. (One tour guide claims they are 4000 years old, which is a little bit off since Buddha was born only 2500 years ago.) At these caves were the usual vendors selling cold drinks and books. I'm passing by these kids selling bracelets, when suddenly I realize one of them has a giant rat on a string! I jumped back as the thing lunged toward me. The kids are trying to get me to do something with this ratlike creature, and I'm just trying to get away. I figured out that it was a mole, a big mole, and they wanted me to pay to set it free, just like with the sparrows in Chiang Mai. Note to Lao entrepreneurs; sparrows are cute, and Westerners want to free birds. Rodents are nasty, and we generally try to kill them.

It's hard to see it, but in the left side of this picture is a "working elephant" This elephant was on a tether and was moving logs for a man next to it. This is the first time I've ever seen an elephant not in a zoo. Laos has a few wild elephants, but they are dwindling fast and need better protection.

In the afternoon I took a trip south to the Kuang Si waterfall. For $4 I got a ride in a tuk-tuk 20 miles out of town and entry to a beautiful forest reserve with a waterfall and several swimming holes.

Little did we know it, but the Tuk-Tuk ride there would be the most exciting part of the trip.

The Lao New Year was just a few days away. New Year comes at the hottest part of the dry season, and it is customary for kids to throw water on anyone they can during the three day festival. Well, on the road to Kuang Si, the kids started early.

Someone must have told them, "Look kids, there's going to be loads of foreigners in open tuk-tuks coming this way from Luang Prabang. They are on their way to the waterfall, so they are already dressed in swimming attire. It's open season."

We never expected the first salvo. Five kids with buckets of water waiting behind a slow curve drenched the back part of the Tuk Tuk. Our truck was full with four Brits, two Swiss, and me.

The Swiss took the brunt of this one. We were shocked, and laughing. The next group of kids we were ready for. Everyone dove to the floor and avoided most of the deluge. The third group was the piece de resistance. These kids had a half dozen threatening with buckets on the left side of the road. We all dove to the right side of the tuk-tuk and faced away. Big mistake. Hiding behind a berm on the right side of the road were another half dozen kids with buckets.

I was blasted in the face by a couple gallons of water. Everyone was soaked. They got us, and they got us good.

This guy, Saeng, was on assignment to the waterfall to practice his English with any English speaking foreigner that would take the time to talk to him. His English needs a lot of work, but he told me that the next time I come to Luang Prabang he'll have opened a new restaurant.

The blurry figure in the center is me, a split second after letting go of the rope swing.

I hadn't jumped off a good rope swing in 15 years. I probably shouldn't have pumped 10 times though, cause my arms were pretty sore the next day.

On the way back from the waterfalls we stopped at a small Hmong village. This was certainly the poorest village I have ever seen. Handmade wooden huts, no electricity, no running water, sickly looking children. The sales pitch from the kids selling stuff had a bit of desperation here. Each girl was singing the same song, while displaying her hands toward the merchandise like some Laotian macarena. As you walked away from her table, the pitch and speed of the song would intensify. Finally I understood that the song they were all singing was in English and the only line was "You can buy some thing from me." I wanted to get out of this place cause these kids were breaking my heart. I bought ten bracelets from this girl, total cost $2. Her mom was pleased, but she doesn't look too happy.

Laos really does have a midnight curfew. Not that there's anything much to do after midnight anyway. Luang Prabang has only two real bars; Hive and Lao Lao Garden. I spent a couple nights hanging at Lao Lao Garden and got to know the owner, a young Lao enterpreneur named Sompon. He manages the business and has a German investor, they split the profits 50-50. Lao Lao Garden has to close at 11:30 so that everyone has time to get home before the curfew.

Sompon tells me that no one actually gets arrested for being out past curfew, least of all a foreigner. He also says there are two businesses that the government allows to stay open late, the Dao Fah disco and the bowling alley. He offered to take me to both. After closing down the Garden we rounded up a couple tuk-tuks and got every foreigner who wanted to keep partying to climb in. One Aussie guy wanted to haggle the tuk-tuk price with the driver, while I tried to explain to him that the cost of the trip amounted to 50 cents per passenger, so what the hell was he arguing about? We all rode whooping and yelling to Dao Fah, and then listened to a mix of crappy Thai pop music and Akon. You have one drink choice at Dao Fah; large bottles of Beer Lao. You stand in one line to pay, get a ticket, then stand in another line to turn your ticket in for your beer. After damaging our eardrums for a bit, the crew piled back in the tuk-tuks for the bowling alley. Bowling? In Laos? at 1am? Sure, why not. I bowled atrociously, perhaps worse than Barack Obama. At some point I got back in the tuk-tuk for the final ride of the evening and was safely deposited at the door of my guesthouse. A day in Luang Prabang reminds me of a day at summer camp. You see all the same people everywhere, and you all move from activity to activity at roughly the same time. I love it.